Triennial Recap

I love that I not only got to go to Triennial with Cheryl, but that I got the chance to bond with my mom and grandma as well!!

Triennial was a life changing experience for me. It has changed my personal life as well as my passions and goals for ministry.

Let me tell you a little background on my story. At 13 years old I developed anorexia nervosa. While I overcame the acute phase within a year, I still had varying degrees of the illness until I was 21. I spent 8 years trying to heal on my own and could never succeed. During those 8 years, I was able to still be that “good Christian” girl during that time because I compartmentalized that sin into a tiny corner in my life…or so I thought. After struggling with this for 8 years I became resigned that this was the way I would live my life and complete healing wasn't possible.  But God had bigger plans for me.

When I was 21, I went to my first Triennial. At that time I had just decided, after a very difficult period in my life, that I could NO LONGER live this way and begun counseling for my eating disorder. I can’t tell you much about what the speakers said at that Triennial but the one thing I took away from that experience was the taste of freedom. The theme of freedom was interwoven into that conference and I began to see that God had wanted to set me free for years. By God's grace and with the help of a Christian counselor when I was 21, I began to overcome those destructive behaviors. As I’ve grown over the past few years and been able to gain perspective on that time in my life, I see those behaviors didn’t develop because I liked to starve myself and look thin.  There were deeper issues.

Until coming to Triennial and hearing Kirstin Haglund speak, I wasn’t able to label the root of my behavior. She feels that the root sin that caused her anorexia was pride. As I began to think about it more I saw that pride did play a role in my story, but God revealed to me that fear is the core of my issue. Fear that I may not succeed, fear that I will disappoint others, fear that I will make mistakes. This fear in my life led to anxiety and the need to control my exercise habits, eating habits and many other areas in my life. I am chuckling to myself on the plane ride home as I write this. It only took me 14 years (over half of my life) to see the root of my sin was fear.

I am so thankful that since I was 22 years old, I have been healed in that I no longer have anorexic behavior. However, I notice that when I become fearful of circumstances in my life those old thought patterns become tempting again. While I do not revert back to anorexia, I try desperately to feel that I am in control in some way. It usually comes out by having rigid control over my schedule, exercise patterns, and having things “in place” in my home.

Through my experience at Triennial I have felt God challenging me to address the fear in my life. While I am not anorexic anymore, fear brings back that temptation and it also keeps me from fully being the wife, friend, daughter, physician assistant, and leader that God intends me to be. I feel that recognizing the root of my problem is half the battle. Now I need to act on the challenge God has given me and draw near to Him daily for the strength to overcome the fear.

As a leader Triennial changed my heart. I see how powerful a movement of women can be. I now see the bigger purpose to women ministries through conference and national ties in the Covenant Church. E Pluribus Unum (Out of many, one)! There is power when women unite within the church to serve their savior! I hope to continue to strive not to just make a difference at a local and church level but to be part of the bigger picture that includes a movement that is changing the world!  Cheryl and I are excited about the vision God has given us this year and we hope and pray that you will be a part of it!